The kobolds speak Common with a very thick accent, and their sense of grammar is appalling.
I was scouting around near the Jasperlode Mine when a half-dozen kobolds descended on me, screaming horrible threats and epithets, including - of course - the oft-repeated comment of "You no take candle!".
I backpedaled and drew my daggers, each slightly tinged with a different venom, designed to cause a crippling pain in their joints whenever they moved. I hate running after opponents who flee... but in any case, I yelled back "No kill me, and I give you cheese AND candles!"
I tossed my trader's backpack to the ground and backed away. The kobolds capered about in victory as they found several large wheels of aged cheddar cheese and a case of twenty new candles. They forgot all about me.
I continued on to the Tower of Azora, where I asked to speak with the archmage of the tower, a fellow named Theocritus. One of the gnome servants showed me up to the top of the tower, where Theocritus was busy, trying to scry the Tower of Ilgalar.
He looked up as the gnome announced my presence. "Master Chess... I did not expect to see you back so soon? Have you had a chance to see to the pest removal yet?" Earlier in the week, Theocritus had asked me about whether or not I could be hired to drastically cut down the number of the Kobolds in and around the Jasperload Mines to the north. The Jasperlode Mine, like the Fargodeep Mine south of Goldshire, had been one of the key mining sites in the Elwynn Forest, providing Stormwind City with raw materials much needed in the wars. Lately, however, the mine has been overrun by kobolds, and with all the soldiers tied up on the front lines against the Horde, Stormwind did not have the manpower to drive the vermin out.
Their raids had gotten bolder in recent weeks, and endangering his servants as they went about their business, gathering herbs and arranging for supplies from Goldshire.
And cheese from Master Trias, of course.
"Yeah, I think you will find their numbers quite reduced, and that they will stay a little closer to home for a while," I informed the archmage. "When you are satisfied, send your payment along with your next order to Master Trias. He hates to have his customers unsatisfied."
I did not tell Theocritus that the kobolds had been quick to take my candles along with a shipment of cheese, nor that I had made those candles myself, mixing into the wax an airborne poison that would be released into the air while the candles burned. The kobolds would breathe in the toxin, which would build up in their bloodstream until rupturing their blood vessels in their brains. Eventually, the candles would burn out and the air would dissipate the poison gas, leaving behind kobold corpses. As an added benefit, if the giant spiders fed on those kobolds, they would poison themselves as well.
Someone had suggested that I just poison the cheese itself - but that would be wrong.
I was scouting around near the Jasperlode Mine when a half-dozen kobolds descended on me, screaming horrible threats and epithets, including - of course - the oft-repeated comment of "You no take candle!".
I backpedaled and drew my daggers, each slightly tinged with a different venom, designed to cause a crippling pain in their joints whenever they moved. I hate running after opponents who flee... but in any case, I yelled back "No kill me, and I give you cheese AND candles!"
I tossed my trader's backpack to the ground and backed away. The kobolds capered about in victory as they found several large wheels of aged cheddar cheese and a case of twenty new candles. They forgot all about me.
I continued on to the Tower of Azora, where I asked to speak with the archmage of the tower, a fellow named Theocritus. One of the gnome servants showed me up to the top of the tower, where Theocritus was busy, trying to scry the Tower of Ilgalar.
He looked up as the gnome announced my presence. "Master Chess... I did not expect to see you back so soon? Have you had a chance to see to the pest removal yet?" Earlier in the week, Theocritus had asked me about whether or not I could be hired to drastically cut down the number of the Kobolds in and around the Jasperload Mines to the north. The Jasperlode Mine, like the Fargodeep Mine south of Goldshire, had been one of the key mining sites in the Elwynn Forest, providing Stormwind City with raw materials much needed in the wars. Lately, however, the mine has been overrun by kobolds, and with all the soldiers tied up on the front lines against the Horde, Stormwind did not have the manpower to drive the vermin out.
Their raids had gotten bolder in recent weeks, and endangering his servants as they went about their business, gathering herbs and arranging for supplies from Goldshire.
And cheese from Master Trias, of course.
"Yeah, I think you will find their numbers quite reduced, and that they will stay a little closer to home for a while," I informed the archmage. "When you are satisfied, send your payment along with your next order to Master Trias. He hates to have his customers unsatisfied."
I did not tell Theocritus that the kobolds had been quick to take my candles along with a shipment of cheese, nor that I had made those candles myself, mixing into the wax an airborne poison that would be released into the air while the candles burned. The kobolds would breathe in the toxin, which would build up in their bloodstream until rupturing their blood vessels in their brains. Eventually, the candles would burn out and the air would dissipate the poison gas, leaving behind kobold corpses. As an added benefit, if the giant spiders fed on those kobolds, they would poison themselves as well.
Someone had suggested that I just poison the cheese itself - but that would be wrong.
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